Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours? Posted onMar 30, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:"Me at 2 AM asking for 'drink preferences' 😂🥂 #VampireBartender" Related funny posts 🤝 Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning. In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me. All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening. Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock. My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.