Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours? Posted onMay 27, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:"Me at 2 AM asking for 'drink preferences' 😂🥂 #VampireBartender" Related funny posts 🤝 Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning. In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me. Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock. I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine. My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.