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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Going viral on Telegram:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Spotted on Threads:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Live now on Pinterest:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Flirting 101: Step 1 – Master the art of insults with style 😏🔥 Step 2 – Hope they appreciate your unique charm! 😉💬 #SmoothOperator"

dating, flirt, humor, i, insult, interaction, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

0

2 months ago

humor, idiocy, idiot, observation, sarcasm, sky, under, weather, wit
Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

0

2 months ago

competition, contest, cream, dessert, eating, eating contest, humor, hurt, ice, ice cream, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yours
To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

0

2 months ago

bed, comedy, dialogue, guards, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irony, playful, sleep, take, wit
I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

0

5 months ago

age, ashtray, Christmas, gift, humor, i, nostalgia, old, old age, parent, parents, saying, school
The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, bring back, competition, duel, humor, need, thing, tradition
The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

0

2 months ago

age, chill, cold, death, died, factor, humor, joke, meteorologist, temperature, weather, wind, wind chill

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨