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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Just shared via Reddit:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Just landed via TikTok:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Seen just now on WeChat:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Just shared via Slack:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Trending via Facebook:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

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I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Spending hours trying to capture a teenager's smile is like tracking a rare species in the wild 📸🦁 Their smiles are elusive, mysterious, and often require patience and expert camouflage gear! Keep up the great work, intrepid photographer-parent! 🌿😄"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

10 shares on TikTok this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

46 shares on X this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

37 shares on X this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

35 shares on Discord this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Trending via Twitch:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Just landed via YouTube:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Broadcasted on X:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Spotted on Telegram:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Trending via Slack:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

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