I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

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Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

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If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.