Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Going bananas on YouTube:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Just shared via X:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Making waves on X:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Just shared via Reddit:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Just landed via TikTok:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Revving up for a giggle-fueled adventure into the land of crazy! 🚗💨🤣

before, crazy, energy, engine, fun, giggle, humor, i, laughter, motivation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

0

2 months ago

comedy, eviction, humor, i, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, living, living in the moment, moment, sarcasm
The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, humor, playful, randomness, sarcasm, whatever, whimsical, world
You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

0

2 months ago

answer, call, calls, communication, gossip, humor, interaction, miss, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, phone, phone call, social, social interaction
Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

0

2 months ago

cable, chores, cleaner, dominator, household, household chores, humor, needs, sarcasm, technology, vacuum, vacuum cleaner
I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

0

2 months ago

drink, fruit, funny idea, humor, i, idea, mixology, party, summer, think, vodka, watermelon
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

0

4 days ago

adversity, humor, kill, life, pain, resilience, sarcasm, struggle, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Making waves on Messenger:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Breaking via Discord:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Spotted on Messenger:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Spotted on X:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨