Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Making waves on TikTok:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Spotted on Twitch:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Going viral on Telegram:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Trending via Facebook:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Revving up for a giggle-fueled adventure into the land of crazy! 🚗💨🤣

before, crazy, energy, engine, fun, giggle, humor, i, laughter, motivation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

0

2 months ago

commandment, humor, interaction, just, neighbor, read, religion, rules, shit, ten, time
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

0

6 months ago

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

0

2 months ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction
“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

0

4 months ago

absolutely, election, hate, humor, hurt, hypocrisy, i, irony, only, people, politics, regret, thought, vote, voted, voter
If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, glasses, humor, i, self-image, sexy, time, vision
Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, convince, date, Godzilla, humor, idea, invite, monster, plus, plus one, relationship, rom-com, struggle, struggles, wedding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Going viral on X:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Live now on Slack:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Making waves on Discord:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Going viral on Slack:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨