Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Making waves on X:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Going viral on X:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Going bananas on Discord:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Going viral on Instagram:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Just landed via X:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Trending via Slack:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Making waves on Telegram:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Revving up for a giggle-fueled adventure into the land of crazy! 🚗💨🤣

before, crazy, energy, engine, fun, giggle, humor, i, laughter, motivation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

0

2 months ago

craving, desire, food, french, french fry, fry, hot, humor, i, just, little, treated, want
Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

0

2 months ago

alien, alien invasion, apocalypse, before, climate, crisis, die, disaster, end, end of world, extraterrestrial, global, global climate crisis, humor, invasion, irony, little, nuclear, nuclear war, sci-fi, survival, treat, war, world
Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

0

2 months ago

age, back, days, gap, generational, generational gap, good, good old days, humor, nostalgia, old, people, perspective, too, young, youth
British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

0

2 months ago

British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window
One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, closer, humor, life, mortality, obituary, reflection, say, time, whatever, year
Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, comfort, coming, home, own, pleasure, sheer, talking, using, vacation, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

63 shares on X this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

13 shares on X this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

45 shares on X this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Trending via Slack:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Making waves on Slack:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Breaking via Messenger:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Making waves on Facebook:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Spotted on Discord:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨