Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew the good ol' days of chemicals would be missed? 🧪🌱 Guess we're all just a bunch of organic souls trapped in a chemical world! 🤔😂 #ChemicalNostalgia"

chemicals, everything, food, hate, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, miss, nostalgia, organic, preferences

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

0

2 months ago

bit, family, humor, i, ignore, kids, me, parenting, say, something, where
I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

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3 months ago

Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst
If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

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2 months ago

activity, chance, cute, cute person, date, day, ever, fun, fun activity, me, person, take, where
The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

0

2 months ago

fortune, fortune telling, humor, lady, me, media, miss, said, social, social media, tarot, telling, TikTok
Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

0

2 months ago

customer, day, face, face slap, frustration, hand, humor, interaction, professional, service, should, slap, workplace
Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

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5 months ago

alcohol, apple, apple juice, drink, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, shy, taste, too, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

48 shares on Slack this month:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

37 shares on X this month:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Just shared via Slack:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Spotted on Facebook:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Just landed via Threads:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Going bananas on X:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Spotted on Slack:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Going viral on Twitch:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨