Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Breaking via Slack:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Going viral on Threads:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Going viral on Discord:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Breaking via X:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Live now on Threads:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Making waves on YouTube:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Budget? Is that a new type of dessert? 🍰💸😂"

born, finance, hate, humor, i, joke, managing, money, spending, splurge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

0

2 months ago

every, expectation, half, hour, humor, minutes, need, ready, relationship, remind, reminder, shell, time, woman
Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cloth, date, dining, embarrassing, ever, fancy, food, good, luck, moment, restaurant, self-esteem, stain, table, table cloth, white
Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, bro, crazy, girlfriend, humor, just, let, relationship
People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

0

2 months ago

always, ask, belief, believe, confidence, course, faith, God, humor, i, important, irony, me, people, say, self-belief, spirituality
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

0

2 months ago

brag, confidence, earrings, fit, high, high school, humor, i, nostalgia, school, self-deprecation, still, want
Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

0

2 months ago

apparently, appear, clutter, cupboard, extra, humor, kitchen, leave, lid, lids, nowhere, organization, storage, too, Tupperware

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

15 shares on X this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Freshly posted on X:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just shared via YouTube:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Going viral on WeChat:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Spotted on Twitch:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨