Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If only wishes and good intentions were accepted as payment, this purse would be a goldmine! But alas, the world runs on cold, hard cash – much to the disappointment of this well-equipped but flat broke bag."

essential, ever, everything, humor, irony, money, need, purse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

0

2 months ago

convince, house, husband, live, love, marriage, me, relationship, same, situation, situationship, trying
We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

0

2 months ago

AI, art, art criticism, bad, creativity, criticism, Hitler, humor, need, paintings, satire, stop
Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

0

2 months ago

activity, anxiety, attack, fun, fun activity, humor, Jaws, playing, song, spice, spice up, theme, theme song
I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

0

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, hold, hold your horse, horse, humor, me, nobody, nostalgia, stop
Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

0

2 months ago

explain, explanation, feelings, humor, just, misunderstanding, thoughts, woman, womansplaining, wrong
Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

0

2 months ago

ball, balls, believe, entertainment, film, humor, led, masquerade, me, mortality, rate, television, war, wars

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just shared via X:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Going bananas on Discord:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Breaking via Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Spotted on TikTok:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Just shared via Messenger:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨