Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If only wishes and good intentions were accepted as payment, this purse would be a goldmine! But alas, the world runs on cold, hard cash – much to the disappointment of this well-equipped but flat broke bag."

essential, ever, everything, humor, irony, money, need, purse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

0

2 months ago

age, airline, humor, just, number, priority, queue, seating, travel
There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

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2 months ago

alcohol, celebration, Christmas, enough, family, full, full moon, going, holiday, humor, mix, mixing, moon, together
I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

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5 months ago

90s, accept, culture, decade, human, humor, i, just, need, nostalgia, peak, retro, specy, think
My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

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2 months ago

comedy, humor, identity, name, rapper, rapper name, stress, wordplay
Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, expectation, humor, irony, just, love, person, relationship, right
Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

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2 months ago

activity, energy, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, me, motivation, need, pyramid, pyramid scheme, scheme, sounds

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Discord this month:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

31 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just landed via X:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨