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I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

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"Here's to caffeine being my daily dose of reality armor! โ˜•๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Canโ€™t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

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My dog just looked me in the eye and said โ€œno one is gonna believe youโ€, then took a nap.

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Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

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You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

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Nobodyโ€™s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

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Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

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I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

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If youโ€™re tired of โ€œfoodโ€ and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend โ€œcuisineโ€?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

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Itโ€™s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. Thatโ€™s just watching paint thatโ€™s already dry.