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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Live now on Twitch:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Just landed via Messenger:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Spotted on Discord:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Just shared via Messenger:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Just landed via Reddit:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Here's to caffeine being my daily dose of reality armor! ☕💪😂"

caffeine, coffee, harder, hope, humor, i, morning, motivation, reality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

0

2 months ago

calorie, consider, conversation, fitness, humor, ID, interaction, maybe, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

0

2 days ago

book, book character, character, characters, emotion, emotional, emotional instability, fan, fan emotion, fictional, humor, instability, over, reading, real
I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

0

4 months ago

confusion, grammar, humor, identity, know, me, misunderstanding, most, people, punctuation, semicolon
Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

0

2 months ago

absent, absent things, brag, clumsiness, humor, i, joke, over, self-deprecation, things, trip
Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

0

4 months ago

behavior, curiosity, every, funny behavior, heart, interaction, media, rewatch, social, social media, somebody, story, time
What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

0

2 months ago

confusion, date, day, enough, humor, i, procrastination, stress, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Going viral on Instagram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just shared via Discord:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Just landed via TikTok:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Breaking via Threads:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Just shared via Telegram:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨