Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who can blame you? Your bed never interrupts your sleep to borrow money or ask for a favor! It's always there for you, providing comfort and support without any drama. That's true love right there!"

bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep

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62 shares on Reddit this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

98 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Going viral on Twitch:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Trending via TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Seen just now on Threads:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Making waves on Twitch:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Trending via Reddit:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Making waves on YouTube:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like my bed more than I like most people.

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

I get writer’s block responding to people.

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨