Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who can blame you? Your bed never interrupts your sleep to borrow money or ask for a favor! It's always there for you, providing comfort and support without any drama. That's true love right there!"

bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, hearing, humor, just, name, nauseous, people, relationships, sarcasm
Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

0

1 month ago

auto-correct, autocorrect, autocorrect mistake, humor, i, keyboard, mistake, relationship, technology, texting, toxic, toxic relationship
You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

0

4 months ago

exorcist, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, need, therapist
I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

0

2 months ago

deer, drinking, funny incident, humor, i, incident, nose, officer, red, shiny, shiny nose, situation, unexpected, unexpected situation, wildlife
I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

0

1 month ago

being, comfort, coming, cozy, home, i, inside, introvert, love, relaxation, sitting, staying
People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

0

2 months ago

always, car, driver, home, humor, i, love, me, people, sit, talk, Uber, waiting, whenever, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

33 shares on X this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

37 shares on X this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Just shared via Discord:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Just landed via Slack:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Going viral on Facebook:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Trending via Messenger:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Just shared via Twitch:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Live now on Reddit:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Trending via YouTube:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Trending via Reddit:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨