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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,031

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Seen just now on YouTube:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Live now on Snapchat:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Trending via Twitch:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Just landed via Instagram:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Just waiting for the sun to bring me coffee and whisper sweet nothings before reality hits ☕🌅💞

before, bit, day, i, me, mess, mess up, morning, mornings, quiet, romance, slow, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

2 months ago
adventure, drinking, enforcement, humor, law, law enforcement, listening, nightlife, party, story
Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

1 month ago
engagement, fun, humor, irony, LinkedIn, media, notification, social, social media, work
Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

1 month ago
brand, brand new week, excited, hanging, hanging on, humor, motivation, new, optimism, struggle, super, thread, week
I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

1 month ago
fun, gathering, humor, invite, later, party, people, phones, social, stare, want
I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

3 months ago
5, congrats, congratulation, drunk, drunk text, engagement, friend, girl, glasses, humor, i, media, old, old friend, post, reaction, social, social media, someone, spoken, sweet, text, wine
Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

1 month ago
art, cover-up, creative, doormat, ever, finds, getting, hiding, humor, key, tattoo, unexpected

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Going viral on Threads:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Going viral on X:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Breaking via YouTube:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Going viral on Slack:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

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I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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