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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Trending via Telegram:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Breaking via Slack:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Breaking via Telegram:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Making waves on Discord:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Trending via X:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Seen just now on Slack:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Going viral on X:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

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I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.
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Commentary:
Oh, so you're preparing for a potential stint in the big house, huh? 🤣🏛️ Just remember, life in prison isn't all movie marathons and popcorn – but hey, at least you'll have some stellar Shawshank Redemption quotes ready to go! 🍿#LifeGoals #PrisonPrep

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

60 shares on X this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

83 shares on Discord this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Live now on X:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Breaking via Instagram:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Making waves on Discord:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Seen just now on X:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Live now on Threads:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Spotted on Discord:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Trending via Pinterest:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

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