Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Making waves on Discord:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Trending via Discord:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Live now on Snapchat:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Spotted on Reddit:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rainy days: nature's way of making staying in bed a valid lifestyle choice! ☔️🛌😴

comfort, home, humor, i, only, preference, rain, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

0

2 months ago

activity, company, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, isolation, lights, lonely, movie, put, solitude
Be nice today, the world is on fire.

0

2 months ago

chaos, encouragement, fire, humor, nice, positivity, today, world
Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, fast, fitness, health, humor, metabolism, speed, wish
I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

0

2 months ago

2, being, bigger, bigger person, diabetes, health, humor, i, irony, me, person, self-deprecation, type, type 2 diabetes
You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

0

2 months ago

delivery, doorstep, fastest, fastest person, humor, joke, man, paid, pay, payment, person, pricing, street, theft, unexpected
My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

0

2 months ago

event, favorite, favorite part, humor, interaction, introvert, over, relief, social, social event, social interaction, socializing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Spotted on Twitch:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Spotted on Slack:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Live now on Instagram:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨