Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Trending via Snapchat:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rainy days: nature's way of making staying in bed a valid lifestyle choice! ☔️🛌😴

comfort, home, humor, i, only, preference, rain, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

0

2 months ago

conversation, eavesdrop, follow, humor, interaction, just, loud, neighbor, rude, social, social interaction, talk
Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

0

2 months ago

attraction, dating, flirt, girl, humor, relationship, someone
I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, obvious, pointing, pointing out, professional, sarcasm, skilled, smart, wit
I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

0

2 months ago

accident, boredom, boring, conversation, dead, death, die, drop, going, humor, illness, say, sentence, small, small talk, someone, talk, too
Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

0

2 months ago

comfort, home, humor, seat, toilet, trust
Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

0

4 months ago

attitude, carry, comeback, coming, confidence, fruit, humor, me, never, phase, shade, tree

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Shared recently on Instagram:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Just shared via YouTube:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Live now on YouTube:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Just shared via Slack:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨