Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.
  • Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.
  • It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.
  • Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.
  • My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.
  • Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!