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Commentary:
"Ah, the strategic overcooking approach – a brilliant method to avoid the infamous 'moist' discussion at the table 🦃🔥 Who knew the path to a peaceful holiday feast involved sacrificing a crispy turkey skin? 😂"

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, chew, handle, hearing, humor, i, life, most, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, relatable, sound, things
Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

0

2 months ago

bring, comedy, dumb, dumbest, entertainment, ever, humor, internet, me, meme, seen, shit, silly
I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

0

2 months ago

communication, good, humor, i, love, phrase, sarcasm, saying, shit, sounds, work
If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

0

2 months ago

humor, last, last minute, management, minute, motivation, only, procrastination, something, time, time management, urgency, wait
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

0

2 months ago

conspiracy, conspiracy theory, everything, favorite, going, hope, humor, ok, optimism, reassurance, theory
Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

0

2 months ago

aliens, Earth, everyone, existence, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, looking, perspective, space, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Making waves on Telegram:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hope this email kills us both.

Trending via WeChat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just shared via TikTok:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Trending via Messenger:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨