I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.