70 funny modern quotes - Wordgag

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

May 30, 2026

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

May 30, 2026

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

May 30, 2026

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

May 30, 2026

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

May 30, 2026

Not participating in humiliation rituals, such as job interviews or modern dating.

May 29, 2026

First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours.

May 29, 2026

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

May 29, 2026

This email could’ve been sex.

May 29, 2026

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

May 29, 2026

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

May 29, 2026

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

May 29, 2026

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

May 29, 2026

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

May 29, 2026

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

May 29, 2026

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

May 29, 2026

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

May 29, 2026

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

May 29, 2026

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

May 29, 2026

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

May 28, 2026

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

May 28, 2026

Social media is mental suicide.

May 28, 2026

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

May 28, 2026

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

May 28, 2026

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

May 28, 2026

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

May 28, 2026

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

May 28, 2026

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

May 27, 2026

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

May 27, 2026

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

May 27, 2026

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

May 27, 2026

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

May 27, 2026

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

May 27, 2026

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

May 27, 2026

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

May 27, 2026

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

May 27, 2026

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

May 26, 2026

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

May 26, 2026

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

May 26, 2026

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

May 26, 2026