Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Going viral on Discord:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Trending via Reddit:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Shared recently on Slack:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Making waves on Twitch:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Breaking via Facebook:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Spotted on Slack:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Trending via TikTok:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs humans when you can have a party with plants and pets? 🌿🐶 Social distancing taken to a whole new level! #IntrovertLife"

anxiety, go out, humans, humor, i, introvert, outdoors, social, social anxiety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, comparison, discomfort, funny comparison, hell, humor, introvert, party, saint, social, social anxiety
I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

0

2 months ago

budget, financial, foods, girl, grocery, humor, just, lifestyle, shopping, Walmart, whole, Whole Foods
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

0

5 months ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under
Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

0

4 months ago

apathy, candy, Christmas, Christmas tree, coping, coping mechanism, decoration, eating, Halloween, Halloween candy, holiday, holiday season, humor, matters, mechanism, nothing, procrastination, putting, season, tree
Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, confidence, dude, every, humor, i, omniscience, sarcasm, sci-fi, universe, well
“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

0

2 months ago

am, awareness, conversation, correct, head, humor, i, mind, self, thoughts, unfortunately

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

27 shares on Threads this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Trending via Messenger:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Trending via Discord:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Breaking via Telegram:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Trending via Twitch:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Making waves on TikTok:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Spotted on Messenger:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨