I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

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I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

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Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

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Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

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I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

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Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

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Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

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I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.