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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Making waves on YouTube:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Freshly posted on X:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I woke up alive again.

Making waves on Slack:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Just shared via Messenger:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Anime hair in real life? Time to start a pink strand rebellion; brunettes unite in our shared confusion! 😂🎨👩‍🎤

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

0

2 months ago

am, beautiful, confidence, day, good, humor, i, morning, positivity, self-love
Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

0

3 weeks ago

employment, full-time, humor, job, list, lists, load, making, mental, mental load, productivity, think, thinking, thought, thoughts, work
Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

0

2 months ago

beach, dating, feet, foot, going, guy, humor, insane, preference
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

4 weeks ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

0

2 months ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Life is short, flirt with me!

39 shares on Discord this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

43 shares on X this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

67 shares on YouTube this month:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spotted on Facebook:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Going viral on TikTok:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Seen just now on Discord:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Trending via Threads:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Trending via Slack:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨