Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Trending via Discord:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Going viral on Threads:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Live now on YouTube:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Karma must be hitting the gym, lifting some iron 🤔💪😄

back, humor, i, ID, karma, revenge, watch, witty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

0

2 months ago

alexandria, browsing, history, humor, i, internet, just, knowledge, library, Library of Alexandria, loss, lost, tabs, tragedy, understand
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

0

2 months ago

best, conflict, enemy, friend, friendship, guess, humor, i, irony, own, self, worst
I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

0

2 months ago

diet, donut, donuts, eat, eating, exist, food, healthy, healthy eating, humor, i, indulgence, lifestyle, need, temptation
I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, mornings, need, people, social, social interaction, speak, speaking, stop, thinking, wish
My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

0

1 month ago

basket, bigger, duck, egg, eggs, elephant, fish, food, fried, fried food, humor, idiom, row
The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

0

2 months ago

ambition, aspiration, bags, goal, Gucci, humor, land, luxury, materialism, never, success, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Going bananas on Threads:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Spotted on Telegram:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Live now on YouTube:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Live now on Reddit:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Trending via Pinterest:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨