Commentary:
Karma must be hitting the gym, lifting some iron 🤔💪😄
74 Funny witty quotes
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.
Commentary:
Planning my escape route or starring in a thriller movie—either way, stay tuned! 🤔🕵️♂️🚪
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”
Commentary:
Looks like the manufacturer might have a long waitlist for attitude adjustments! 😂📞👩🔧
Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.
Commentary:
Swapping wine for whine since day one 🍷🤔 #HealthyChoices
I only squeak when I’m squoken to.
Commentary:
Squeak to me, and I might respond… if I'm not feeling too mouse-y! 🐭👂😄
My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.
Commentary:
Sounds like you might need a new audience; maybe try the local dog park! 🐾🔔
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.
Commentary:
Looks like I need to reschedule my appointment with Dr. Frankenstein for that soul upgrade 🤖❤️
If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.
Commentary:
When we unleash our inner sarcastic dueling skills, it's the Olympics of wit! 🥇😏
I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.
Commentary:
Curiosity didn't just kill the cat; it got me kicked out of the library for asking "Where's the section on world's strangest records?" 😄🔍📚
I must retire to my chambers about this.
Commentary:
Isn't that just a fancy way of saying 'I'm going to my blanket fort'? 🏰🛌🤣