Trendy Funny Quotes

  • By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.
  • At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
  • Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.
  • You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.
  • My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.
  • Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.