Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them. It's like a twisted scavenger hunt where the prize is realizing I'm broke!"

broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

2 weeks ago

creature, fantasy, humor, irony, kid, kids, listening, love, mythical, mythical creature, unicorn, vampire, werewolf
I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

2 weeks ago

being, clown, comedy, conflict, humor, i, irony, mind, mine, perspective, relationship, story, villain
Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

3 weeks ago

animal, baaaa, humor, joke, pun, sheep, walk, wordplay
Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

2 weeks ago

comedy, day, frustration, humor, i, people, rant, said, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, television, well
Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

2 weeks ago

advice, confession, honesty, humor, life, mom, relationship, short, tell, too
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

2 weeks ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

60 shares on Threads this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

97 shares on Instagram this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Going viral on Messenger:

I would prefer not to.

Going viral on Facebook:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Broadcasted on X:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨