If you arenβt sleeping with me, then youβre sleeping against me. Posted onMar 31, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Is my bed a secret wrestling ring I didn't know about? π€π€ΌββοΈπ Related funny posts π€ Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up. I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said βhelloβ like a goddam daredevil. Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra. I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow. Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.