24 funny rivalry quotes - Wordgag

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

May 20, 2026

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

May 19, 2026

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

May 19, 2026

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Apr 1, 2026

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Apr 1, 2026

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Apr 1, 2026

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Mar 31, 2026

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Mar 31, 2026

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Mar 30, 2026

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Mar 30, 2026

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Mar 28, 2026

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Mar 27, 2026

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Mar 27, 2026

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Mar 26, 2026

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Mar 26, 2026

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Mar 26, 2026

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Mar 25, 2026

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Mar 25, 2026

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Mar 25, 2026

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Mar 25, 2026

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Mar 24, 2026

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Mar 24, 2026

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Mar 23, 2026

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Mar 23, 2026