Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Making waves on Reddit:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Spotted on Twitch:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Just shared via YouTube:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Making waves on YouTube:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Seen just now on Messenger:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life hands you lemons, just make sure there's a snappy emoji for every awkward moment. 🍋😜🔥

attraction, dating, deserve, desire, handle, honesty, humor, love, me, personality, relationship, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

0

2 months ago

back, crisis, existential, existential crisis, factory, factory settings, humor, late, life, reset, settings
“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, disbelief, humor, i, joke, just, mall, okay, real, reality, Santa, saw, surprise
I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

0

2 months ago

aging, anything, average, confidence, consider, humor, i, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecating, well
If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

being, confidence, glasses, humor, i, self-image, sexy, time, vision
Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

0

2 months ago

came, humor, joke, language, receipt, spelling, typo, wordplay
They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

0

2 months ago

charge, expenses, eyes, grocery, humor, money, observation, open, paper, poop, reality, toilet, toilet paper, turn

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WeChat this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

23 shares on X this month:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

35 shares on X this month:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Going viral on Discord:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Trending via Telegram:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Seen just now on X:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨