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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Messenger:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Spotted on Facebook:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Shared recently on Slack:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Making waves on Messenger:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Going viral on Discord:

It sucks when you realize itโ€™s only Thursday, until you realize itโ€™s Wednesday.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Going bananas on Threads:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Going viral on Messenger:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

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If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.
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Commentary:
๐Ÿ”‘ "If you ever find yourself locked out of your house, don't panic! Just strike up a friendly conversation with your stubborn lock. Remember, communication is key in all relationships – even with inanimate objects!" ๐Ÿ˜‰ Unlock your way back in with some smooth talk!

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Social Media Stars โญ

67 shares on Threads this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Your coworker is not hot; theyโ€™re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldnโ€™t be happier.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Who decided that โ€œmicrowaves that beep foreverโ€ was a feature we needed.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Whatโ€™s a random act of kindness youโ€™ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

So many true crime podcasts are just like โ€œa young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questionedโ€

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If youโ€™re a guy and youโ€™re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

British people be like โ€œIโ€™m Bri ishโ€ cause they drank the โ€œTโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

People shouldnโ€™t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

If youโ€™re offended by bacon, the United States of America isnโ€™t for you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Facebook:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra โ€” wash one, and two more appear.

Making waves on Slack:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Making waves on Slack:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Shared recently on X:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Just shared via Slack:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Spotted on Threads:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Trending via Facebook:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

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