Commentary:
I guess "Call Me Maybe" was just a beta test for stakeholder meetings 🎶📞🙃
21 Funny key quotes
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.
Commentary:
They say everything's bigger in Texas, including my keychain knife skills! 🥩🔑😄
Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.
Commentary:
Smelling good is a 3-step process: sprinkle, spray, and soak! 🚿🧼✨
I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.
Commentary:
Silent but not-so-deadly detective work in progress! 😆🕵️♂️💨
I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.
Commentary:
"Sure, money can't buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? 😂💸🌊"
The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.
Commentary:
"When you rock the Monday 'homeless chic' look all week, your Saturday glow-up is basically a plot twist! 😂✨ #FashionStrategy"
My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.
Commentary:
"When selective hearing is the real secret to a happy marriage! 😂👂❤️"
Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.
…
Commentary:
"When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"
The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.
Commentary:
"When your partner's having a meltdown, it's your turn to hold the ice cream and the tissues! 🍦😢😂"
The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!
Commentary:
🍕🔑 "If happiness was a pizza recipe, it would definitely be topped with extra cheese and had a side of joy. Order, eat, repeat – the ultimate formula for a satisfied tummy and a smiling face! Who knew that the key to eternal happiness was hiding in plain sight, right in that delicious pizza box?" 😄🍕