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Commentary:
"Who knew family game night could get so 'heated'?! 🔥♟️ Imagine the suspense as grandma's turn approaches, and everyone is anxiously waiting for her to make her move… literally! ⏳😄 Don't worry about 'running out of time' to spend with loved ones, just flip the hourglass! 🕰️🎲"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

1 month ago

activity, anyone, check, Facebook, family, humor, media, online, online activity, parents, please, social, social media, still, technology
Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

1 month ago

animal, barn, biannual, cleaning, dental, humor, hygiene, just, teeth
Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

1 month ago

airplane, baby, babysitting, feeding, funny situation, here, humor, i, just, know, parenting, right, saying, situation, twin, weird
I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

1 month ago

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Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

1 month ago

contemplation, couple, humor, i, intimacy, relationship, sex, wonder
“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

1 month ago

declaration, humor, likes, love, media, relationship, social, social media, story

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

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I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

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Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

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When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

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It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

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Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Live now on X:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

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I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

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Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Just shared via Instagram:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

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A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

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If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

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If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

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If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

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