I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

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I’m bored, but not read a book for fun bored.

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You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

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Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

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It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

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The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

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I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

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Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

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Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

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Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

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The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.