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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Trending via Reddit:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Going viral on WeChat:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Live now on Pinterest:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Spotted on Discord:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

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I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges – both are fruit, but they're totally different! So, embrace your uniqueness and let your inner beauty shine without worrying about being compared to anyone else… unless you're being compared to a potato, then maybe worry a little."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

76 shares on Threads this month:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Live now on Threads:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Making waves on TikTok:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Trending via Messenger:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

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