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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Just landed via YouTube:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Breaking via Slack:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Just landed via Discord:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Brains in the mail! 🤔📬 #FairTradeThoughts

atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

1 month ago
body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple
If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

1 month ago
confidence, dark, dark spot, health, humor, lip, mole, MRI, self-deprecation, sexy, spot, upper, wait
Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

2 months ago
flowers, funeral, gifts, humor, irony, life, men
Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

2 months ago
back, chance, give, humor, i, love, me, meeting, met, never, night, regret, relationship, sarcasm, take
As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

1 month ago
adult, drinking, friends, humor, nostalgia, park, secret, squirrels, teen, transition
Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

2 months ago
creativity, dance, fun, humor, interpretive, interpretive dance, meltdown, performance, self-expression, spice

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

I’m addicted to placebos.

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

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I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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