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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Iโ€™m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove Iโ€™m smarter than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,997

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,997

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyoneโ€™s getting a hug for Christmas.

Making waves on TikTok:

Itโ€™s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Just landed via Twitch:

Venn diagrams. You either love โ€˜em or you hate โ€˜em. Or youโ€™re somewhere in the middle.

Live now on Snapchat:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Iโ€™m not actively avoiding you. I donโ€™t actively do anything.

Freshly posted on X:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Trending via X:

You say โ€œmultitaskโ€ like itโ€™s a good thing.

Live now on Snapchat:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the art of being quietly furious! Like a volcano sipping on a smoothie ๐ŸŒ‹๐Ÿฅค. It's all about that zen-like fume control ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ’ฅ. Dangerously calm, yet on the brink of eruption! ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜„"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

835 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,997

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,997

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has copied:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

This tape doesnโ€™t even taste like scotch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone weโ€™re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via TikTok:

100% of all babั–es are unemployed. Pathetั–c.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Iโ€™m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Going viral on YouTube:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Trending via Snapchat:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Just shared via TikTok:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The note on this boxed wine says โ€˜Fresh up to 6 weeks after openingโ€™. 6 weeks. Lol.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Trending via Snapchat:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

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