73 funny full quotes - Wordgag

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

May 24, 2026

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

May 24, 2026

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

May 24, 2026

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

May 24, 2026

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

May 23, 2026

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

May 23, 2026

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

May 23, 2026

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

May 23, 2026

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

May 23, 2026

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

May 22, 2026

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

May 22, 2026

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

May 22, 2026

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

May 22, 2026

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

May 22, 2026

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

May 22, 2026

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

May 22, 2026

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

May 22, 2026

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

May 21, 2026

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

May 21, 2026

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

May 21, 2026

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

May 21, 2026

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

May 21, 2026

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

May 21, 2026

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

May 21, 2026

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

May 21, 2026

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

May 20, 2026

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

May 20, 2026

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

May 20, 2026

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

May 20, 2026

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

May 20, 2026

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

May 20, 2026

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

May 20, 2026

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

May 19, 2026

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

May 19, 2026

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

May 19, 2026

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

May 19, 2026

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

May 19, 2026

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

May 19, 2026

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

May 18, 2026

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

May 18, 2026