Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Just landed via Twitch:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Going viral on Discord:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Spotted on Slack:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Humorous quote about homelessness, featuring a clever wordplay on the phrase.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Technically, I'm just 'homeless' – no 'm' involved! 🏠➖🧑‍🚫 Now accepting applications for a new 'ome' 😉 #WordplayWednesday"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mike is short for Micycle.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,586

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spotted on Snapchat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Breaking via X:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

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