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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,083

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Spotted on Facebook:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Going viral on X:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Just landed via X:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Going viral on WeChat:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

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I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Technically, I'm just 'homeless' – no 'm' involved! 🏠➖🧑‍🚫 Now accepting applications for a new 'ome' 😉 #WordplayWednesday"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Making waves on X:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Just shared via Facebook:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Trending via Telegram:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

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