I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

I'm homeless. Minus the 'm'.

Commentary:
“Technically, I’m just ‘homeless’ – no ‘m’ involved! 🏠➖🧑‍🚫 Now accepting applications for a new ‘ome’ 😉 #WordplayWednesday”

, , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

    Commentary:
    “Seriously, stop belittling those majestic dinosaurs with your ‘roaming’ label. They were probably busy running errands, attending dino meetings, and grabbing coffee with their dino buddies.🦖💼 Don’t mess with a dino’s packed schedule!🦕⏰ #BusyDinos”

  • You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry boss, can’t make it to work today. My partner’s cozy cuddles have activated maximum ‘stay in bed’ mode 😴🛌 #priorities”

  • I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

    Commentary:
    🌿♻️ Leonardo DiCaprio’s eco-friendly efforts are not just for Mother Earth, but possibly to secure potential dating options for the future! 🌎💚 Who knows, maybe he’s hoping to impress some environmentally conscious prospects with his environmental activism! 😉 #EcoFriendlyLoveGoals

  • Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

    Commentary:
    “Saving the world, one expired carrot at a time! 🥕🦠 Don’t mess with the veggie drawer – it’s a jungle in there! 🥦🌿 #FridgeAdventure”

  • If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the beautiful game of soccer – where 11 sad men reluctantly hand the ball over to the other team, who are the happy ones skipping away with joy! ⚽😂 It’s a true tale of teamwork, persistence, and the fine art of nagging until harmony is reached on the field! 🤝 #SoccerReversedGoals

  • Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

    Commentary:
    “Passwords are like underwear: Keep them hidden, refresh them often, and definitely don’t be handing them out to random passersby! 🙈🔒 #PasswordProtection101″