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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Live now on WhatsApp:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

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I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 8th or 10th choice – the ninja of choices, silently waiting in the shadows to strike when least expected! 🦸‍♂️ Don't worry, sometimes being the underdog has its perks. Embrace your inner MVP of the 8th and 10th choices! 🥇"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

61 shares on X this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

22 shares on Slack this month:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

32 shares on Slack this month:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

70 shares on Discord this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,928

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Spotted on Reddit:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Trending via Telegram:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Going viral on Discord:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

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