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Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days when the biggest dilemma was choosing between playing outside or watching cartoons. Now we're stuck debating between updating our software or our social media status. Thank goodness for the simpler times!"

childhood, gratitude, humor, nostalgia, past, simplicity, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Farting, but with eye contact.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

2 months ago
back, coffee, companionship, friend, humor, let, love, loyalty, meant, meant to be, relationship
“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

4 months ago
big, decide, decision, humor, identity, pronoun, pronouns, sexuality, surprise, surprises, tonight, yes
Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

2 months ago
appreciation, friends, friendship, humor, loneliness, me, shoutout, still
Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

1 month ago
always, feel, feeling, five, humor, lasts, minutes, relatability, time, weekend, why
The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

1 month ago
alligator, competition, course, danger, golf, humor, interesting, Masters, wildlife

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

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I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

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No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

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I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

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“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

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My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Spotted on X:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Spotted on Facebook:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

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I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

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I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Farting, but with eye contact.

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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