Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Making waves on Telegram:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Making waves on YouTube:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Breaking via Facebook:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Just shared via Discord:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

1 week ago

Playful quote about feeling excluded, comparing oneself to batteries for never being included.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you're operating on a whole different energy level – literally! 🔋 Don't worry, sometimes it's better to stand out than to blend in like rechargeable batteries in a junk drawer. Embrace your uniqueness and shine bright like a Duracell in a sea of generic brands! 💡😄

anything, battery, call, humor, included, joke, loneliness, me, never, school, unpopular

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

57 shares on Discord this month:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

17 shares on X this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Going viral on Instagram:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Making waves on Discord:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Making waves on X:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Making waves on Twitch:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Trending via Messenger:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Spotted on Slack:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴