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Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

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People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You wish you had this many chins.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,010

Funny Quotes Topics

13,946

Funny Quotes Images

11,010

2 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Breaking via Discord:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Just landed via Telegram:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Spotted on Telegram:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Live now on YouTube:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Going viral on Slack:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Home » Funny Productivity Quotes

83 Funny productivity quotes

Funny productivity quotes poke fun at our endless attempts to get things done — and all the distractions that get in the way! 😂📋 Whether it’s making a to-do list just to feel accomplished, spending an hour organizing your workspace instead of working, or feeling productive after sending *one* email, these quotes remind us that being busy isn’t always the same as being productive. Because sometimes, procrastination is just productivity in disguise! 😆💼⏳

New funny productivity quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Commentary:
When juggling life's craziness, I need more screens than an action movie hacker! 📺🤯💻
1 week ago
Share →: The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Commentary:
Making waves in productivity one bathroom break at a time! 🚰🚽💦
1 week ago
Share →: I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Commentary:
That's the kind of free time I dream of—next stop, reviewing socks and dustpans! 😂🧺📦
2 weeks ago
Share →: I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Commentary:
"When your productivity level is higher than the clouds 🌿⛅ but you still forget where you left your phone 😅📱 #PabloProblems"
2 weeks ago
Share →: One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Commentary:
"After a long weekend, my brain's still on vacation mode while my body grudgingly clocks in! 💤🔔 #OutOfOfficeMindset"
2 weeks ago
Share →: The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Commentary:
"Efficiency is just a fancy word for 'congratulations, here’s more work!' 🎉🗂️🤣"
3 weeks ago
Share →: If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Commentary:
"Breaking News: Speedy replies confirmed as camouflage for workplace shenanigans! 😂📧💨 #EmailNinja"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Commentary:
"When you turn procrastination into an art form 🎨😂 #ProCraft-inator"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Commentary:
"When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Commentary:
"Life hack: turn productivity into a game of 'How many tasks can I fake complete today? 😎✍️✨ #DopamineOverdose"

For even more funny productivity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny productivity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,010

Funny Quotes Topics

13,946

Funny Quotes Images

11,010

2 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Just landed via Discord:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Reported on Messenger:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Shared recently on Threads:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Shared recently on Slack:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

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