Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, please do enlighten me with your wisdom on how I should navigate this chaotic ride called life! 📝🤣 It's always good to have a self-appointed expert on hand!

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, irony, life, live, notes, sarcasm, sorry, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

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2 months ago

achievement, fact, fastest, humor, i, just, lazy, life, recovering, self-deprecation, sperm, still, used
Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

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2 months ago

bon, Bon Jovi, humor, journey, jovi, least, music, progress
I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

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2 months ago

alternate, alternate dimension, curiosity, dimension, humor, i, parallel, parallel universe, self, universe, wonder
How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

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2 months ago

arm, arms, exercise, fitness, hair, humor, just, lift, people, ponytail, putting, strength, struggle, tired, weightlifting, weights
Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

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2 months ago

activity, bowling, fun, humor, laughter, most, sh, someone, sport
There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

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2 months ago

advice, airplane, bored, boredom, conversation, flying, funny advice, interaction, life, next, passenger, person, reason, social, social interaction, story, storytelling, tell, time, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Freshly posted on Threads:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Spotted on Facebook:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Trending via Messenger:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Shared recently on WeChat:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Live now on Telegram:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨