Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.
  • If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.
  • Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.
  • You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.
  • I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.
  • The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.