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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Just landed via Threads:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

2 months ago

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Loyalty so strong, I even wait in line patiently at an empty coffee shop 😂☕️❤️

humor, idiot, loyal, loyalty, relationship, stage, talking, talking stage, type

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24 shares on YouTube this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

26 shares on Slack this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

84 shares on X this month:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Going viral on Messenger:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Just landed via Facebook:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨