Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Going bananas on Telegram:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Trending via Reddit:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Just landed via Telegram:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Just shared via Facebook:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

2 months ago

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Loyalty so strong, I even wait in line patiently at an empty coffee shop 😂☕️❤️

humor, idiot, loyal, loyalty, relationship, stage, talking, talking stage, type

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48 shares on Threads this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

27 shares on X this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

17 shares on X this month:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

92 shares on X this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨