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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,009

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Just landed via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Spotted on Threads:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Loyalty so strong, I even wait in line patiently at an empty coffee shop 😂☕️❤️

humor, idiot, loyal, loyalty, relationship, stage, talking, talking stage, type

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

0

3 months ago

am, enough, experience, experiences, God, humor, i, intelligence, learning, learning experience, please, prayer, sarcasm, smart
Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

0

2 months ago

able, adulthood, being, breakfast, choices, cooky, doing, eat, eating, humor, irony, responsibility
I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

0

2 months ago

eyes, fitness, great, great shape, humor, i, joke, keep, rolling, self-care, shape
Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

0

5 months ago

book, Britannica, encyclopedia, humor, knowledge, laugh, never, offline, set, technology, want, wifi
Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

0

3 months ago

before, call, communication, Facetime, humor, interaction, just, me, please, request, social, social interaction, technology
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

0

2 months ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

11 shares on TikTok this month:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

79 shares on Twitch this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨