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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

1 hour ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Live now on Slack:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Making waves on Slack:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Live now on Instagram:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Shared recently on Threads:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Live now on Reddit:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Home » Funny Talking Quotes

86 Funny talking quotes

Funny talking quotes highlight the hilarious chaos that comes with opening our mouths — sometimes without thinking! 😂🗣️ Whether it’s talking to yourself like it’s a TED Talk, going on and on with no idea where the story is going, or saying something awkward at *just* the wrong time, these quotes remind us that talking is a skill… and sometimes a comedy act. 😆🤐🎤

New funny talking quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Commentary:
Trying to watch a movie with a chatterbox is like reading a book in a library with a rock band playing behind you! 📚🎸🤐
4 days ago
Share →: Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Commentary:
Trying to understand this conversation is like finding the unicorn of laundry skills! 🦄🧺😂
4 days ago
Share →: Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Commentary:
When you wish people came with a fast-forward button 🎬🤣🤭
4 days ago
Share →: The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Commentary:
Trading traffic lights for fairy lights sounds like a magical upgrade! 🐿️🧚‍♂️🍓
5 days ago
Share →: I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Commentary:
Sounds like your dad was the original HVAC influencer! 😂🌬️🤷‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆
1 week ago
Share →: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Commentary:
"New conversation hack: Sock it to 'em! 🧦😂 They'll be speechless (and possibly sockless)!"
2 weeks ago
Share →: What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Commentary:
"When you think you're sliding into third base, but it turns out you're just passing out on the couch! 😂😴 #SleepIsTheRealMVP"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"
1 month ago
Share →: Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Commentary:
"Just networking my way through the chaotic web of strangers… 😂🌐 #Priorities"

For even more funny talking quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny talking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

1 hour ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Just landed via TikTok:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Going viral on X:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Just landed via X:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Just shared via TikTok:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Breaking via WeChat:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Live now on Reddit:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

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