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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Spotted on Instagram:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Just shared via YouTube:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Spotted on Discord:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Just shared via Slack:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Spotted on Instagram:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Trending via X:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Just landed via YouTube:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Spotted on Telegram:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

6 months ago

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the infamous algebra, always playing hard to get in real life! 🤔📚 Who needs those pesky equations when you have hilarious word problems like trying to figure out why your cat insists on knocking things off the counter? 🐱🤯 Stay tuned for the next episode of 'The Unsolvable Mysteries of Everyday Life!' 🔍😂"

algebra, assurance, humor, i, irony, life, real, real life, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.
6 months ago
Share → : I’m here by unpopular demand.
4 months ago
Share → : Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.
6 months ago
Share → : Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.
6 months ago
Share → : My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.
3 weeks ago
Share → : It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”
6 months ago
Share → : Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.
6 months ago
Share → : The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Trending via WeChat:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Just shared via Instagram:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just landed via Slack:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

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