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Commentary:
"Introducing two cats is like trying to mediate a treaty negotiation… 🐱🤝🐱 They couldn't care less about your political agenda, they just want to exchange some awkward licks and move on! 🤣 #CatsRulePoliticsDrool"

behavior, cat, cats, dumb, just, lick, normal, politics, tedium

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

0

2 months ago

caution, chat, chatting, funny caution, grocery, grocery store, humorous, humorous warning, interaction, know, people, place, public, public place, social, social interaction, stay, store, vigilance, want, warning
Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

0

2 months ago

activity, confusion, dance, disagreement, fun, fun activity, having, hokey, Hokey Pokey, humor, i, internal, internal disagreement, lyrics, obvious, pokey, say, song
“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

0

1 month ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

0

2 months ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

0

2 months ago

90, anxiety, happen, humor, i, irony, life, never, seems, things, working, worry, worrying
Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

0

2 months ago

advice, boyfriend, dating, girl, humor, least, please, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WeChat this month:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

86 shares on Threads this month:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Breaking via Slack:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Just shared via Slack:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Just shared via X:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Spotted on TikTok:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨