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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Spotted on WeChat:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Breaking via Instagram:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Live now on TikTok:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Just landed via X:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just shared via Twitch:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Playful quote about a son's bravery in eating imperfectly cut toast, humorously celebrating small wins.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like your son truly deserves the "Toast Tenacity Trophy" for his heroic battle against misshapen breakfast! 🏆🍞 No loaf left behind! #ToastGoals #BreakfastBravery

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

21 shares on Threads this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

19 shares on X this month:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Freshly posted on X:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

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