Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs drugs when you have a good book high? 📚💊 Just remember, reading may cause a permanent addiction to imagination and knowledge! 😄 #BookwormLife"

books, buy, drugs, i, myself, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

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2 months ago

family, gangsta, grandma, humor, irony, rebellion, want, wishes
I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

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2 months ago

cabinet, humor, i, kitchen, morning, noise, pan, quiet
All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

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2 months ago

bus, except, getting, humor, pointless, pointlessness, stop, transportation, travel
This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

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2 months ago

being, commentary, decent, decent human, existential, existential humor, history, horrible, horrible time, human, humor, irony, social, social commentary, time
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

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2 months ago

9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife
Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

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2 months ago

confusion, favorite, Fliccaroni, food, Googling, humor, i, joke, pasta, real, say, sure, too, types

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

85 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Spotted on Facebook:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Just shared via Telegram:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Breaking via Twitch:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨