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"Who needs drugs when you have a good book high? 📚💊 Just remember, reading may cause a permanent addiction to imagination and knowledge! 😄 #BookwormLife"

books, buy, drugs, i, myself, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

1 month ago
authentication, call, condom, humor, joke, protection, pull, pull out, safety, sex, still, two-factor, two-factor authentication, using
Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

1 month ago
communication, email, humor, management, meeting, meetings, minutes, office, productivity, time, time management, workplace, wrapped, year
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

1 month ago
ad, ad break, adrenaline, away, back, break, call, childhood, excitement, feel, furniture, high, high stakes, i, kids, know, Netflix, never, nostalgia, over, racing, running, screaming, send, sibling, sorry, stakes, time, TV
“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, beverage, drink, food, food humor, gravy, humor, i, me, okay, situation, trying, well
Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

1 month ago
dedication, dog, dogs, everyone, extravagance, extravagant, hard, humor, lifestyle, pet, shoutout, support, work, works
Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

2 months ago
celebrity, humor, Kardashian, marriage, marry, new, new plan, ok, plan, relationship

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Breaking via Twitch:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Just shared via Messenger:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Trending via Slack:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

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Activity Log ✨

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

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“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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