23 funny drugs quotes - Wordgag

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

May 28, 2026

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

May 28, 2026

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

May 27, 2026

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

May 27, 2026

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

May 27, 2026

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

May 26, 2026

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

May 26, 2026

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

May 25, 2026

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

May 25, 2026

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

May 23, 2026

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

May 22, 2026

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

May 22, 2026

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

May 22, 2026

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

May 22, 2026

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

May 21, 2026

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

May 20, 2026

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

May 20, 2026

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

May 19, 2026

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

May 18, 2026

Gyms are empty because they’re all on weight loss drugs.

May 6, 2026

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Apr 1, 2026

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Mar 31, 2026

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Mar 31, 2026