Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,720

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Trending via YouTube:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Making waves on YouTube:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"An epic quest, complete with tea breaks and corgis navigating the corn! 🏴🇬🇧🫖🌽"

British, culture, culture shock, geography, humor, inland, me, Midwest, people, shock, stereotype, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

0

2 months ago

experience, humor, i, irony, learned, learning, lesson, sarcasm, teacher, teaching, times
It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

0

2 months ago

crush, even, feelings, hope, humor, infatuation, just, love, optimism, romantic, sarcasm, unsupervised
My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

0

3 months ago

customer, customer experience, driver, experience, five, humor, me, rating, ride, silence, stars, talk, transportation, try, Uber
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

0

2 months ago

communication, contact, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, telepathy, text, texting
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

0

5 months ago

cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife
Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, changes, exhaustion, humor, life, life changes, sleeping, tired, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

32 shares on Threads this month:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

27 shares on X this month:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Breaking via Telegram:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Just shared via Telegram:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨