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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

426 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,695

Funny Quotes Topics

17,711

Funny Quotes Images

15,695

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Just landed via Slack:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Trending via Facebook:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Spotted on Discord:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Trending via Telegram:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Making waves on Twitch:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the hidden clause in the fine print of the Frisbee Code – thou shalt confront the rooftop within a week! It seems even the frisbee gods love a good roof adventure. Just remember, if your frisbee ends up on the roof, maybe it's just reaching for the stars… or seagulls."

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

52 shares on Slack this month:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

426 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,695

Funny Quotes Topics

17,711

Funny Quotes Images

15,695

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Spotted on Reddit:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Just landed via YouTube:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Just shared via YouTube:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Seen just now on Discord:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Spotted on TikTok:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

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