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Commentary:
"Ah, the humble hobby of pointing out life's shortcomings – the gentle art of constructive criticism, if you will. 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, it's all in good fun until someone starts taking notes! 📝😂"

advice, failing, hobby, humor, job, just, life, people, sarcasm, tell, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

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2 months ago

anxiety, doomscrolling, health, hobby, humor, internet, love, media, mental, mental health, social, social media
I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

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2 months ago

cause, cliff, comedy, drive, driving, grateful, gratitude, humor, i, irony, me, people, reckless, remember, safe, safety, sarcasm, tell
Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

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2 months ago

effort, enough, hard, hate, honesty, humor, motivation, nobody, perspective, remember, self-improvement, trying
I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

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2 months ago

absurdity, before, box, feed, footwear, humor, i, joke, just, never, new, over, sh, vegan
If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

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2 months ago

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women
Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

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2 months ago

basket, carry, carrying, convenience, grocery, grocery store, humorous, i, middle, moments, much, overestimate, shopping, should, store, stores

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

50 shares on Discord this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

35 shares on Discord this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Breaking via Snapchat:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Trending via Slack:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨